SELLC wrote:

---

Well folks... I have yet to sell the woman on any trips.

I'm starting to think

I'll respect her wishes to not do anything on her Birthday... But my Birthday is right after hers and I won't be a rat in a cage!

---

 

Welp, I wasn't a rat in a cage for my birthday! And it wasn't easy because the woman KNEW something was up... It started around 10pm Wednesday night when out of the blue Brandee started pouring me shots of Scotch! I knew what was going down because she never pours me shots and then comes back to refill them every 10-15 minutes! Sure enough, come about 1am she had me where she wanted, drunk as a skunk and 100% unable to drive! LOL, then she had her way with me, screwed my brains out and got cocky with me... thinking she put me down for the count! Wearily, and without much thought I put my plan in action to break out of my cage/routine to have the craziest fucking birthday in a long time, even if it meant I had to do it on my own!

First order of business? Pay for plane ticket to LAX! Once this was done, there was no turning back... once I reserved and paid for the ticket online the clock was ticking! I immediatly hailed my Lyft driver to pick me up. Since I am a professional at this sorts of adventures I never pack a bag... my theory on this is such that it never fails that you'll buy some clothing if you're having a good enough time! So with nothing more but the cloths on my back, a USB charger and my phone, $5,000 cash and all 22 of my credit cards I stumbled out to the driveway to await my Lyft driver... this is the very first photo of my journey that I took

I was very drunk when I took this photo, and these are the womans daisies that she has growing out front by the driveway... I can only imagine that I was trying to infer that I was going to take a moment to smell the flowers on my 47th Birthday! I honestly don't remember taking that photo but I took it at 6:02 AM (Eastern) on the morning of Thursday July 28th 2022! aka, my Birthday!

My Lyft driver was right on time, and I oozed my drunk ass into the backseat of the car... I know I was really wasted because I don't even remember what kind of car it was, and that's VERY unusual for me. In fact I cringe to think what I may have told that Lyft driver on the way to the airport as she sure was awful chatty... it was a good move on her part because I gave a really good tip both in cash and thru the Lyft app. By the time we got to DTW (Detroit Metro Airport) I was starting to feel a little more sober, made my way thru security and tried to throw $5k cash and 22 credit cards in the little x-ray tubs when I hear this person saying "Sir-Sir-Sir"... it was TSA saying to take the cash out of the tub and hold it above my head in the stand up x-ray booth! I complied, but I know I must have still smelled like I got dropped off from the bar because TSA didn't even mess with me, or even get in my face and pat me down! So I decided to have the breakfast of champions once I got boarded on the plane.

This meal was only $22! Such a deal at 32,000 feet! After eating all this and drinking two cans of Pop I was starting to sober up! I know this because right after eating them all I started to feel a little air sick, and made my way to the bathroom. I didn't get sick but I can remember telling myself in this stinky compartment they call a bathroom that I must have drank too much coke while at 32,000 feet and that was the reason I was starting to feel like I had an upset stomach... rather than the gawd knows how many shots I had drank leading up to this little adventure! I think back on it now and laugh... but it was a good thing that I had forgotten about my hangover at this point, natural adrenaline was running thru my body now! By the time Brandee would wake up my phone would ping in California! LOL

So I land at LAX and the first thing I do is make a B-line for the concession stand to buy a pack of cigarettes!

 

$16 USD for a pack of Marlboro Reds! I was FOR SURE in California! As I smoked that 1st REALLY GOOD tasting cigarette I had totally forgot that I just lost over four hours on the plane because California time is three hours behind! So it was almost like I never left! LOL... but it dawned on me that my nicotine cravings just cost me my visit to the Centurion Lounge! SHIT! This is because I already passed thru the exit, and re-entery to the Airport inside the terminal would require a valid boarding pass! And I really wanted to stop in there! Oh well I figured at the time, I'll just hit it up on my way back home... whenever that might be! 

My next order of business was to check my phone, which was dying because I forgot to charge it the night before. I tried to find a hotel but just couldn't decide on a place... where was I going to go? Plus I needed a car or another Lyft ride to wherever I was going! Since my last one cost over $50 due to my tipping, I decided to rent a car... and here is the thing about LAX folks, they don't have little offices in the airport to rent a car... You just stand in the second island at 6A and some rental car company bus comes and picks you up! Apparently everyone knows this except for me because I asked 4 different people, and despite them all telling me the same thing, it just didn't click! LOL, so I am running up and down this airport, it's hot... I smoked like four cigarettes and purchased a few $5 20oz bottles of ICE COLD coke and finally when the last dude told me the same thing everyone else said I figured fuck it... So I just stood there at 6A and sure a shit some massive ass bus pulled up out of nowhere, stoped and told me to get in! It was Hertz! Finally I could relax! Or could I?

Pull up a Hertz and they let me off... their bus was really nice, good AC and a very good ride for a bus so big! I walked around the building to the reception area, which for their LAX office is like a massive plot of land with it's own zip code! Not only that, all the planes fly over that parking lot so every few minutes you have this massive jumbo jet flying so low you almost spit on it, ROARING! It was so fucking cool, it really added to the ambiance of hustle and bustle already felt like I was in a movie or a dream! Come around the front door and there is a brand new Porsche sitting there... not sure of the model, but it was a white little two door entery level boxster looking thing... enter the building and the line was long, but they had like eight people working the counter so it went by surprisingly quick. Up at the desk I jokingly tell the lady "I want that white Porsche!" to which she replied, "No, problem sir... the daily rental rate is $300 USD per day"... my eyes watered a little and my mouth got a little dry as I tried to nonchalantly say "Eh, well what else have you got?" LOL

She says, "I got Teslas for $100 per day" to which I told her I don't care much for electric cars... Then she says "I got Camaros and Mustang Convertibles for $140 and..." I interrupt her to say, I don't want anything smaller than a V8... Then she says, "I got one just for you... it's black and it's a V8 and it's $169.75 per day"... Let's think about this for a moment... Look at these numbers! There is a 69 in there along with the year of my birth, 75! I figured screw it... opted for all the top dollar insurance and signed the fucking line... she hands me a peice of paper with a number on it, says it's parked in that spot on the lot, the key is in it and it's all ready for me to go! 

So I walk out there and look what they gave me, sitting right next to a white Mercedes-Benz of all cars! LOL

My first beef was the Washington plates... I wanted ones that said "California"... but I figured fuck it... I was already going to be driving a damn Dodge, what difference did it make at this point!? Right? 

This would be my first Dodge Challenger R/T Hemi 5.7 V8 that I have ever driven. Sure enough, the key fob was sitting on the dash! Opened the door and sat down, couldn't quite tell if that smell was new car smell, or vomit with something that smelled like new car smell sprayed over it. Didn't matter, probably smelled better than my breath at that point! LOL! I started it up and the rumble from the exaust was very pleasing to my ear... it had a good sound for a small Hemi 5.7 considering the monster engines they put in these cars. I jump out and take photos of any and all damage just in case, and away I went with my GPS set to Santa Barbara Pier! It's really only a 15-20 minute or so drive from LAX and I wanted to be on the ocean... during my drive there using Siri and Apple maps the audio went out a few times on me... it sucked because I was bumping my "Everything I wanted" by Billie Eilish on repeat... thankfully the vehicles on-board screen kept up and I would just read it while I waited for it to come back on. Not sure if it was the phone, the charger or some feature that I wasn't privy to, but by the time I could get all butt-hurt about it I was at my destination!

Was really shocked how this Dodge felt on the road... it felt BIG! Lot's of blind spots front, back and sides! Some of these California streets aren't really made for a big body like this beast from Washington! LOL Paid my $15 to park my rental and got a super parking spot right up at the front off the pier! This would prove wise later because I would use the cars AC to cool off after I wandered the streets, beach and Pier of Santa Monica! 

So now it was getting close to 2-3PM California time... which would work out to be past 5PM Michigan time... and sure enough, the calls and text from the woman started to get more and more hostile... 

The sun was shining, and everywhere I looked it was hot women! Funny thing is, outside of the people on the beach none of the people on the Pier seemed to be speaking in English! Think I heard every European language and a few I didn't even know as people passed by in excitement. This would be my second time on the Pier so I decided to buy a pimp hat and some aviators at one of them little stands on the Pier and settle down at one of the tables to enjoy one of the many live performers scattered all over the pier. It was at this time I decided to take a selfie

This being my 2nd visit I was much more impressed than my 1st... for starters there were hardly any bums! Sure, you always have your few "local" bums who could pretty must just sprawl out in front of a cop and they would be like "hey Eddie, you have to go sleep on the beach"... I call these people celebrity bums because even though they are a bum, it's their home and I'm still just a visitor... Fair enough it seemed, they never bothered me and the best part was my woman wasn't around to wake them up for a $1 bill... having purchased several $5-7 Coke's, Gatorades and slurpies I come to the conclusion if Brandee was to join me I'd have to take away her $1 bills and give her $10's and $20's for these folks to survive! But let me tell you, you'll pay ANYTHING for a cold drink after spending enough time under the California sun!

That's when the call came thru... it was WELL PAST 5PM in Michigan... closer to 8PM (EDT) and the wife had built up some liquid courage and figured out I had taken $5G cash and 22 credit cards to California! She was histerical! As I sat there I was just glad the live performances could drowned out all the names she was screaming at me over the phone. At this point I was getting a little irritated because I told her this was coming, that I was not going to be a rat in a cage for my 47th Birthday! I even took a dig at her and said "All these women in California are almost naked, super nice and nobody on the pier seems to speak any English"... She got real quiet for a minute as the live music played on... then in closing I vividly remember her screaming "Them are all the tourist you dumb fuck! If you stay there with $5k cash after the sun goes down the local women of Santa Monica are going to come out and roll your stupid ass, and take your money ---- AGAIN LIKE MIAMI!" and then *click*

I sat there and pondered that... She had a point... it's happened before! I shook it off, and gulped down the last of my Gatorade before heading to the Challenger for a little AC and a charger cord so I could start hunting for Hotels, Plane tickets, and also to see if anyone from the Webcrawlers thread had figured out that I was in California... then it dawned on me, how the fuck would they know! LOL, didn't matter much... I wasn't there for any of them, although I did have dreams of seeing a live comedy show with Amy and Dana... maybe a little tryst with Eden... but alas, I'm too vampire to let myself into someones life... they have to invite me in! LOL, so I checked out the Hotels and the only ones close to the pier where I'd want to be were like $400 a night! That wasn't an issue, rather I didn't want to stay in some $400 hotel by myself just so I could watch Martin Gero's new Netflix show... So I checked Hotels off the beaten path and there were some deals in the 200+ range, but then I thought about what the wife said... as much as I didn't want to believe I'd ever do it, I started looking for a return ticket home, just in case... because if you been following these last half dozen post you would know the day after my Birthday was my 21 year Anniversary with Brandee! So it was going to be very-very tricky! There was one return flight for 9:45PM California time... the same price I had paid to fly there just 10 hours ago...

About this time the wife called again, and wouldn't you know it... that damn interface and car audio never missed a beat as I got my ass chewed out in surround sound! It was at this point the wife let me know that she was feeding everyone all the filet mignon I had purchased at Sam's for the coming up weekend! They even all got togeher, all nine of them to sing me happy birthday on a video while they feasted on my steaks! LOL, they had to know it was all part of the plan... but the next part of the plan would be very tricky, and that would be to get Brandee on an 8:30PM flight departing Detroit and arriving in Los Angeles at 11pm, just an hour before our anniversary! The plan failed, and she refused! Just like Cedar Point! I was devastated! I don't know why, but I kept thinking "Why don't one of the Webcrawlers give me a sign"... but WTF!? How the fuck would they know, they barely knew I existed and most of them are all in relationships and one of them married and pregnant! It was like all this was swirling around and then finally I just swallowed my pride and let the woman win! I paid for my ticket home and took the red-eye back to Detroit where I would arrive back home at 6AM exactly 24 hours later! I have been so busy every since I got back, that outside of a few photos on Facebook I haven't had much time to do anything online. 

While I did return home for my 21st anniversary, I did what I said I was going to do! Something crazy! Something off the fucking hook! I was not a rat in a cage! I was a rat in a tin can at 32,000 feet! LOL

But what a rush! Everyone there and at the airport were totally cool that I was not wearing a mask! Never made it to the AMEX lounge because I was cutting it VERY close after returning the car and getting a bus to LAX but I still had a great time!

Thank you California!

California is OPEN for Business folks! 

Sam's steaks are surprisingly good, and the price is very fair. I bought enough for everyone and then some, so there was some left over that I cooked up fresh and had yesterday. I been liking the beef tips latley, seasoned with Lawry's Seasoning salt and cut mushrooms and onions. Don't forget the BAKED POTATO! I don't know if it's better than Trump's steaks, but they were pretty darn good and less than what it would have cost to take everyone out BY FAR. Is the Sharper Image even open anymore? I wonder what Trump charged for his meat? 

Really shocked that Desi didn't hit me up... I really expected her to be able to read my mind and feel my presence in California! Even though I didn't make public mention of it in the forums until the following day.

 

Just checked my steaks from Sam's and they are USDA Choice... maybe not "Prime" like Desi and Trump's steaks, but good enough to get four packs of cut and trimmed tenderloins for just over $100! Still got enough left over for one more BBQ!

I should also note that my Birthday dinner in Santa Monica was a 12 inch Subway on white (non-toasted) with ham and turkey. It was good, and I polished off the other half on my way home at 32,000 feet.

Looking back I kinda wish I was still in California... I would have "settled" for Eden (inside joke)... I even rented the car for three days just in case I wanted to cruise the grapevine, but quite honestly the condition and handling of the Challenger was such that I'd have had to exchange it for the Porsche... guess there is always next time! At the very least I now have LAX under my belt as a place I can navigate. This was my first time ever flying into LAX, even if it was just for one day on my Birthday.

Now I'm back home and I was right, the outfit I bought in Miami is a perfect match to the hat I got in Santa Monica!

Took the Mustang for a stroll down Main Street tonight... started to feel so lonely there in Californa towards the end, just an unfamiliar place. Felt like home down on Main Street though!

Kid is offically leaving for Texas in seven days... Feel like the whole world is just flipping in the air at the moment... 

 

 

 

So... our Birthdays and Anniversaries are over... and I know this is the 2nd time I have spun a tune already posted in this thread, but...

A black Dodge Challenger? LOL

It was a hell of a 47th and 50th + a 21st anniversary, and thanks to some solid women... I made it out alive to tell the tale! at least for now!

 

Welp... every since the kids moved out the woman has not been buying breakfast goodies like bacon and eggs... guess it doesn't matter much anyway, since when my youngest finished school this year she quit making breakfast all together and sleeps in...

So here I am, hungry but not hungry enough to get McDonalds breakfast and have diarrhea all day... So I walk over to the fridge and remember that pep and salami dish I bought at Sam's for my Birthday!

And it was still there! I guess there are some things money can't buy, for everything else there is Salami and Pep! 

BTW, I keep posting tunes in this thread because I like them... and I use this thread as my commercial free play-list... A Mix-Tape of sorts (eat your heart out Eden)

 

Rock-on with this one Yo !!!

 

Welp folks... The day has finally come! My boy has moved on to Texas

 

I'm going to miss him... and it's just like this gigantic bite in the ass to have a child you have raised and looked after almost 21 years just move far away!

I blame Melissa! LOL, had she run off with me long ago this whole thing could have probably been avoided! (just kidding)

Brings back memories of many years ago when I would DM her about how the kid was moving out with his girlfriend down the street... I told her all the stories about raising them and how kids were so great... but here is the kicker, once they grow up they will move on without you! So let this be a new chapter in my life that perhaps will remind her and everyone else how special the time is you have with them while they are growing up! Because it's just a matter of time before they grow up and move away! I'm pretty sure I'm going to be devastated for awhile, and even though I might walk around like everything is okay, deep down it will still hurt. 

*wipes tear from eye*

Godspeed, Son!

 

While we're on the topic of excess...

Podcast Guests Are Paying Up to $50,000 to Appear on Popular Shows

Maybe it was the trifecta of Jewish Women?

Ali, Eden and Gabby...

SELLC wrote:

---

Byyyyooooyyoooyoooyiiiing!

---

 

I can "almost" guarantee you it was Eden who got BOTH them classic Beavis and Butthead reels removed from YouTube!

I mean... really

Tell me it's not at Cohen-cidence...

And before anyone accuses me of being drunk, or picking on Jews... let me just say,

My desk is just as messy as Ali's, if not more! And I don't have to apologize for being sincere! 

 

-- Edited by SELLC on Saturday 20th of August 2022 12:29:51 PM

That's good. Warmer anyway.

So I got my paperwork done last night (FYI- paperwork = pay bills LOL) but I just didn't have it in me to clean my desk... guess I'm just a slob! LOL

Anyway, the hang-over was pretty brutal... I tried to eat the hangover away but I had just started drinking too early in the morning to fight it off... but I'm feeling great today!

Even got a little Brunch going on over here

Normally I don't take photos of my afternoon breakfast but this one is special because it's the first home-made breakfast I have had since my youngest graduated High School! 

So things are looking up! I've even made some serious progress in the on-going home renovation and I have even started to get my garage back in order after the kid trashed it fixing his truck last minute!

Hopefully this week will see some normality around here... it's literally been a whirl-wind since the middle of July! I'm sure Brandee is very glad that she does not have to get kids off to school anymore.

Things must be getting back to normal because even Desi is back to feeding her people! Either that, or she is just craving another fancy dinner date with Rachel... lol 

Check out her most recent haul

Look at all that fucking ham! For gawd sakes woman, did you leave any on the shelf for the rest of the shoppers!? LOL

Kind of makes you wonder what Desi's ham sammich looks like...

And YES! She is doing good work by feeding 60 homeless strangers! I only tease about it because it's all I know... But for people who want to help Desi in her efforts she has a tip thing on her Twitter... I'm banned from Twitter, and my money is no good with her anymore so all I can do is spread the word.

All things said, I'm looking forward to getting some things handled this week... the woman has devloped a bit of a tooth ache so I'll have that to deal with tomorrow... our Dentist who is probably the coolest Dentist in the entire world retired recently... the new place she picked said they could not get her in until Wednesday! To me, that's not a good place if they made her wait all weekend and think she is going to wait until Wednesday! I'll be calling around first thing in the morning! That's just bullshit! At least get her in, do an x-ray and put her on some antibotics with some pain pills in the meantime! I mean WTF!  Nothing worse than a toothache on the weekend, I know! I've had my fair share and they SUCK!

So if anyone out there was having a bad week like me, just know you could also have a toothache! Or even worse, be over eight months pregnant and unable to see your toes! 

I don't know how these women, especially Brandee, have put up with me for so long... I guess they are just old fashioned and like assholes! 

And Desi, we see that box of Cocoa Pebbles you're trying to hide under all them other boxes! 

 

I'm trying to figure it all out folks... it's not any of these 12 women who are responsible for what I have to look at in the mirror every day...

It's just that I'm trying to figure out where all this is coming from... When I was a teen I was watching Beverly Hills 90210

And I'll admit it... I wanted to go there SOOOO fucking bad when I was a kid... BUT I DIDN'T! 

Being a big fan of Beverly Hills 90210, I purchased the first season on Apple TV... right before Luke Perry died and they pulled them... I been re-watching the first season, and for people who may have forgotten - it was a whole different day back then! Before many of the ladies who star in this thread! I watch this stuff and think to myself "This is the pinnacle of TV right here"... while many others will just watch some fake reality TV that is more or less junk food for the brain! While I watched season 1 of Beverly Hills 90210, I was shocked that I was actually PROUD of my generation back then! RESPECT! How we dedicated so much to fashion and honest equality. It wasn't reality TV, but it had standards and was no more real or fake than this reality TV BS!

Fast forward to 2022... and my kid is watching this

No wonder he moved to Texas!

Shame on you Hollywood! I wanted to post the YouTube scene where Rip saved Beth from being raped... but that was too graphic for even YouTube! WTF! 

For the record, I was always an Ice Cube fan... and 90210... LOL

 

Beth being saved by Rip is too extreme for YouTube...

But not making crack... naw, that's totally cool with YouTube...

I'm telling you... there is some fooked up shit going down over there at YouTube...

And it's not just YouTube! It's the mother fucking Emmys too!

How Yellowstone was skipped over by the Emmys just shows that Hollywood is BROKEN!

FUCK THE EMMYS! They can keep smoking their crack!

That's one thing I dont like about trying high end stuff... be it high end booze, high end steak or even high end women... the problem you run into is you just might like it!

Thus making it hard to go back...

That is exactly what has happend to me here! I tried the prime tips today and they were absolutely delicious! The most tender and tasty tips ever! 

It's going to be hard eating choice beef from now on... thanks Desi, thanks for increasing the cost of my meat by $5 a pound! 

With all the ladies in this thread getting married, having babies and finding boyfriends it feels like I'm losing my favorite game.

Little bish Desi complaing about being peed on at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert?

Please bitch... I grew up to this:

Lick my twat byatch...

 

 

I guess I should appoligize to Desi and her friend with a girl sounding name... I been a little grouchy the past few days.

Sorry

I liked it better in the good 'ole days when I would just DM her 20-30 times in an hour... it was almost like free therapy for me, but eventually they all caught on... they were not cool with the fact they were paying for therapy and I was getting it from them for free... 

Speaking of Doctors and such, the woman went to her dentist appointment Wednesday (yesterday)... turns out her gut feeling was right and she likes her new Dentist! I was even shocked when they said she didn't need a root-canal! But they did put her on some antibiotics and Motrin. The Dentist said if it keep happening or doesn't go away she "may" need one, but the x-rays did not show any infection... which is probably why she was able to wait so long for her appointment. I figured she must have either over exerted herself with the garage sale, or I made her cum so hard last week that some pressure built up as she blew her wad multiple times... The truth is somewere in the middle I bet, as it was probably just a ploy to keep me from going out and leaving her at home while I went to the Woodward cruise... I have to check my past posting about the dream cruise because I think she has employed this tactic in the past! IIRC it was something to do with her tooth back then too! 

But all is good... I am glad she found a new Dentist that she feels comfortable with! Just that alone is a huge relief... I thought I was gonna have to club her over the head and drag her to a Dentist.

 

For the record... you're allowed a dozen online partners for every IRL one... providing that none of the 13 ever make direct eye contact

Speaking of TikToc... the beautiful Gabrielle Williott recently set up a TikToc

https://www.tiktok.com/@grabbyelle

A short while after not joining her TikToc, she blocked our Instagram account! I thought her first post was kinda corny anyway!

Truth is, I'd rather slam my cock in a car door than join TikToc... and many of these New York women are all pretty much jaded from COVID lockdowns... I mean for gawds sakes their most eligible bachelor for almost two years was Andrew Cuomo! 

She must have joined to keep an eye on 'ole "Pump up the volume"...

And Eden... *puffs cigarette* Shalom!

 

 

Holly Madison Admits Having Sex With Hugh Hefner Was A 'Chore,' Only Did It To Avoid Being 'Kicked Out' Of The Playboy Mansion

 

https://okmagazine.com/p/holly-madison-hugh-hefner-kicked-out-playboy-mansion/

I mean, were you even living if your woman does not say this about you a few years after your death?

This is a bald-faced lie! There was that one morning, right after I watched Rambo the night before!

 

It's getting to be that time of year! Did someone say hair of the dog?

-- Edited by Stellar007 on Saturday 10th of September 2022 06:39:17 PM

Eden Dranger while lurking page #5 of this thread

 

-- Edited by Stellar007 on Monday 19th of September 2022 12:23:03 AM

Well...Well...Well...

Another bald-faced lie! This time from Instagram!

We know this is not true... just like other falsehoods that are floating around out there!

Damn them "West End Girls"